Tuesday, June 12, 2007


I drove to work this morning. People, your car windows are not shaded. Others can see inside your car, and can see what you're doing. Stop sticking your fingers in your noses and use some kleenex.

Excessive nose picking is why I decided not to become a litigator. I'd sit through motions, keeping track of files, watching the judge and the lawyers pick their noses in broad daylight. While talking to each other. Like it was some secret brotherhood signal. (Freemason mystery revealed?) Usually, it was started by plaintiff's counsel, giving a whole new nuance to the phrase "he has a bone to pick."

You and your nose have no reasonable expectation of privacy in the downtown core at 8:15 in the morning. If the two of you need to be alone, book a room for a lunch hour quickie. Stop doing it in the streets where you're frightening the children and the horses.

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